This’ll look good in the Kitchen
Wally swam like a fish on a mission. The mission: weird lures. No questions.
Under the ice, Lake Minnetonka turned into a floating bait shop with skylights. Every fishing hole above was a little display window, each line dangling down like a clearance tag that couldn’t stop swaying. Hooks hung in neat vertical rows. Baits spun slowly like they were trying to look important.
Wally didn’t rush. Rush was for panicked minnows and fishermen who said “real quick” and meant “three hours.”
He cruised the aisles in his trapper hat, tool belt snug, half-lidded eyes doing inventory. He wasn’t hungry. He was scouting. He had a trophy wall to decorate, and he wasn’t about to hang the same sad worm everyone else had.
First hole: a respectable minnow. Fresh. Classic. Boring. Wally gave it a polite glance and moved on.
Second hole: wax worms. They looked like gas station sushi in larva form. Wally’s face did that quiet thing it does when he’s judging but staying polite.
Third hole: a shiny spoon lure. Pretty. Practical. Already overdone. Wally let it spin, watched the flash, and acted like he’d seen it on sale last season.
Then he found it.
A neon plastic worm. Loud. Confident. Unnatural. The kind of bait that comes with its own opinions.
Wally drifted closer and inspected it like someone checking produce. He pinched it gently, turned it side to side, squinted at the tail, and gave one slow blink that said, “So… this is what we’re doing.”
He didn’t bite. He didn’t flare up. He didn’t even look offended.
He just reached into his tool belt, pulled out a tiny pair of cutters, and made the cleanest little snip you’ve ever seen. Not the whole line. Just enough to “borrow” the lure for… evaluation.
The worm bobbed. The hook hung there feeling naked. Wally pocketed the plastic worm like a man slipping a questionable impulse buy into his coat.
He continued down the row.
A fuzzy jig with glitter eyes. A crankbait shaped like a tiny fish that looked tired of itself. A lure with so many colors it had no business claiming to be “natural.” Wally collected the oddities like a curator with a smirk and a mild disregard for retail rules.
Back at his trophy wall, he arranged them with care. He wasn’t making a collection. He was making a statement. Each lure got a place, each one turned just right so it caught the light from the ice holes above.
He leaned back, admired the newest addition, This’ll look good in the Kitchen
More details
- Solid colors are 100% Airlume combed and ring-spun cotton
- Ash color is 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
- Heather colors are 52% combed and ring-spun cotton, 48% polyester
- Athletic and Black Heather are 90% combed and ring-spun cotton, 10% polyester
- Heather Prism colors are 99% combed and ring-spun cotton, 1% polyester
- Lightweight fabric (4.2 oz)
- Regular fit
- Unisex sizing
EU GPSR Product Information:
- Manufacturer contact information
- Name: Make America Moral Again
- Email: captainmurphy66-shop@support.fourthwall.com
- Postal address: PO Box 5696 Santa Monica, CA 90405
- Additional information: This product is made for adults. 2 year warranty in EEA and UK, established by Directive 1999/44/EC.
Size & Fit
Quality Guarantee & Returns
- Quality is guaranteed. If there is a print error or visible quality issue, we'll replace or refund it.
- Because the products are made to order, we do not accept general returns or sizing-related returns.
This’ll look good in the Kitchen Size Guide
| Size label | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
|
XS
|
27
|
16 1/2
|
|
S
|
28
|
18
|
|
M
|
29
|
20
|
|
L
|
30
|
22
|
|
XL
|
31
|
24
|
|
2XL
|
32
|
26
|
|
3XL
|
33
|
28
|
|
4XL
|
34
|
30
|
|
5XL
|
35
|
32
|